Police warn all clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be
alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape
drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting
men.
The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere.
"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their
male victims to go home and have sex with them.
Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer"
and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered
helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to
desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would
never normally be attracted.
After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what
happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that
something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of
their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." Apparently,
men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex
is offered by the predatory female.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim
to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are
male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details
of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected,
like minded guys.
For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow
pages.
Anne was a knockout but alas, she also was virtually
brainless.
Fortunately, this was no drawback as far as Bill's plans
for the evening were concerned. He was delighted when
she agreed to come up to his apartment for a night cap.
As he prepared the drinks, full of anticipation, Anne explored
the apartment, stopping now and then to examine a painting
or a book title, she didn't quite understand. Finally she
stopped dead in front of his fireplace.
"What on earth is that?" she asked pointing to a carved
wooden object lying on the mantel.
"Oh, that. It's African," he replied. "They use them in
their fertility rites. It's a phallic symbol."
"Oh, I see." stated Anne demurely. "I'd hate to tell you
what it looks like!"
Maria is a devout Catholic. She
gets married and
has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She
remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children
by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later,
she dies.
At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and
says, "At least they're finally together."
A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me
father, but do you mean her and her FIRST
husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."
The kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to
her class the definition of the word "definitely"
to them. To make sure the students have a good
understanding of the word, she asks them to use
it in a sentence. When called upon the first
student says "The sky is definitely blue". The
teacher said "Well that isn't entirely correct
because sometimes it's gray and cloudy". Another
student says "Grass is definitely green". Teacher
again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water
it turns brown, so that isn't really correct".
Another student raises his hand and asks the
teacher "Do farts have lumps?". The teacher
replied, "No, and that is not a suitable question
for class discussion". The student replies,
"Then I definitely shit my pants".
At an amusement park, people were
standing in line
at the food court. The first guy in line gave his
order, then reached in his pocket for the money to
pay the cashier. The cashier noticed the money he
gave her was wet and she made a face.
"Oh, I was just on a water ride" the man said.
The cashier laughed and took the next order.
The next guy in line reached in his pocket and
gave her the money. Again it was soaking wet.
"I just got off the water ride", he told her.
She nodded and took the next order.
The guy reached in his pocket and gave her another
handful of soaking wet bills.
"Just get off the water ride?" the cashier asked.
"No." the man said puzzled, "But I was just on the
scariest roller coaster ever!"
SUNDAY SEX
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went
straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and
comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a
heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having
sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many
years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was
when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and
slow, nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream
truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
A guy walks into a bank and approaches a teller. The young woman greets her
customer, "Good morning, sir. How can I help you?"
The man says, "Yes, I would like to open a fucking bank account."
The teller, a little appalled, tells the man, "Well, that's not a problem. But
there's no need for that language."
The man then says, "I didn't ask for your damn lip. I just want to open a
fucking bank account."
The teller once again says, "Sir, I will be happy to assist you, but that
language is not appropriate."
The man, getting a little angry, says louder, "Okay! Just let me open a fucking
bank account! All I want to do is open a mother fucking bank account! I am sick
of talking to a dumbass like you! I want to talk to a fucking manager!"
So the teller goes to get her manager, and then the manager asks the man, "Yes,
how can I help you?"
The man says, "I want to open a fucking bank account!"
The manager says, "Okay sir, we can do that, but there is no need for that
language. Please tell me, how much would you like to deposit?"
The man says, "Six fucking billion dollars."
Then the manager yells, "AND THIS FUCKING BITCH WOULDN'T HELP YOU?!?!?"
A woman dies & goes to Heaven. She
meets St. Peter at the gate. He says to her "Name & religion?"
She replies "Jane Simpson, Protestant"
St. Peter says "Okay, go down the hall, to the 3rd door on the left. But be
VERY quiet while going past the first door on the right."
So she wanders off & a man steps up to St Peter. St. Peter asks "Name &
Religion?"
He replies "Barney Smith, Unitarian"
St. Peter says "Okay, go down the hall, 2nd door on the right, but be VERY
quiet while going past the first door on the right"
He wanders off & another woman steps up. St Peter asks "Name & Religion?"
She replies "Samantha Brown, Catholic"
St Peter says "Okay, go down the hall, 2nd door on the left, but be VERY
quiet while going past the first door on the right"
Samantha asks "Why do I have to be quiet going past the first door on the
right?"
St. Peter replies "Because that's where we stick the Jehovah's Witnesses, & they
think they're the only ones up here"
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